Lori Jackson

The last few weeks I've been crying over a woman I barely know. Her name is Lori Jackson and when I was a little girl she was a teenager in my church. She is young, has three kids, and a loving husband and family in Iowa. A few months ago I found out that she was dying from cancer. I was told about a web journal that her family was keeping for her to track her daily progress and to have friends and family encourage her with writing. I started to read her updates and have written a few notes of encouragement. So many nights when I'm reading notes from her loved ones I have cried. I have asked God why he would let this happen to such a beautiful woman who loves Him so much. I am left with no answers and no understanding other than his Holy Spirit of Peace. I keep thinking about my own mortality...I would not be suprised if someday to find out that I am terminal and dying. Cancer happens so often anymore. In some ways I wish I could live my life (mentally and emotionally) as though I have only a few years left on this earth.
I think about Lori as she is spending her last few weeks in Hospice. Tomorrow she is going on a date with her husband. What will that look like? What will they say to each other? How will they end their evening together? I can only imagine what a sad but desperately needed date it will be.
What if it was my last week with my husband? This question has made me think about my love for him. I have struggled lately understanding love as it becomes comfortable and familiar. I am sure though that if it was my last week on earth my passion for Ryan would be so real and amazing. My prayer is that over the next month as we are a part from one another that I will live my life and love my relationships as though my time on earth is short.